I’ve got my own recipe for Irish stew: Get some meat, beef, for preference, some potatoes and a lot of Guinness Stout. Drink all of the beer. Forget about the stew.

  

Never Underestimate the Irish

The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he abandoned the blind man.

The bull, puzzled by a lack of fear, nudged the farmer in the back. He turned very quickly, caught the bull by the horns and threw it to the ground with a bump that left it breathless.

“Aidan,” said the neighbor, “I never knew you were so strong.”

“Faith, and if I could have got that fella off the handlebars of the bicycle I’d have thrashed him properly.”

Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?

A: Too much of the drink taken and not enough restrooms!


A Potty of Gold

Pat and Murphy are out fishing and the boat motor dies.

After two days and drifting miles from the coast, they find a bottle in the water. Pat rubs the bottle and a genie pops out.

“I will grant you one wish,” says the genie.

Without a thought, Pat says, “I wish to turn the sea into Guinness.”

The genie says, “Your wish is my command,” and the sea turns into Guinness.

Murphy yells at Pat, “You fool! Now we’ll have to pee in the boat!”


One Really Scary In-Law

Flaherty started coming home drunk every evening, which greatly upset his wife.

One night, she dressed as a red devil and hid in the cemetery to scare him when he walked –or staggered – by.

Right on schedule, Flaherty walks by drunk and his wife jumped up yelling, “Flaherty, if you don’t give up your drinking, you’ll go to Hell.”

Flaherty staggers back and demands, “Who in blazes are you?”

She replies, “I’m the devil, you old fool!”

Flaherty responds, “Well, mighty glad to meet you, sir. I’m married to your sister.”